Sins of the Father?

A visitor to our website writes:

“I’ve come to be quite confused about the ‘sins of the fathers’ being passed to generations to come. It confuses me as to why God would punish the children of someone who has sinned. I understand that the sin the ‘parent’ committed may come back to hurt the children (such as a usual “drunken father” beating their children and scarring them for life). But does God still punish the children if they are good-hearted, faithful people, just because their parents have sinned?”

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Dear friend,
Thanks for visiting our website.  And thanks for a really great question.
The idea that the ‘sins of the fathers’ could be passed on to their children is probably most often taken from Exodus 20:4-6.  That’s the passage that gives us the second commandment.  It says; “You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them.  For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”  (You’ll find the same sort of statement made concerning the second commandment in Deuteronomy 5:9).  But it’s also found in Exodus 34:6-7; when God displayed His glory to Moses and said of Himself, “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children to the third and the fourth generation.”  Later on, when the children of Israel refused to enter the promised land, Moses pleaded to God for his people—reaffirming what God Himself said: “And now, I pray, let the power of my Lord be great, just as You have spoken, saying, ‘The Lord is longsuffering and abundant in mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He by no means clears the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation.’  Pardon the iniquity of this people, I pray, according to the greatness of Your mercy, just as You have forgiven this people, from Egypt even until now.”
Even though someone might take these statements to mean that God would visit the punishment of guilty fathers even upon their innocent children, I think a few things need to be kept in mind that will help us interpret it correctly.  First, it’s important to remember that God—in all His dealings with people—will prove in the end to be perfectly just.  As Abraham once said to God in Genesis 18:25—at a time when he was concerned that the judgement of God was about to fall on innocent people—”Far be it from You to do such a thing as this, to slay the righteous with the wicked, so that the righteous should be as the wicked; far be it from You!  Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?”  And the implied answer is, yes—the Judge of all the earth will always do right.  God will never prove to have been so unjust as to extend the punishment of guilty fathers on their innocent children.
Another thing to keep in mind is that God Himself is very explicit in Scripture in saying that He does not unjustly punish innocent children for the sins of their fathers.  During the days of the prophets—just before the people were taken captive to Babylon—there was a popular ‘saying’ that was going around.  God spoke about it through the prophet Ezekiel in Ezekiel 18:1-3; “The word of the Lord came to me again, saying, ‘What do you mean when you use this proverb concerning the land of Israel, saying: “The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge”?  As I live,’ says the Lord God, ‘you shall no longer use this proverb in Israel.'”  (It’s interesting that God says essentially the same thing through the prophet Jeremiah 31:29-30—”In those days they shall say no more: ‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge.’  But every one shall die for his own iniquity; every man who eats the sour grapes, his teeth shall be set on edge.”)
I recommend that you go to Ezekiel 18; and read that whole chapter.  God goes to great lengths in it to make very, very clear that He does not unjustly extract punishment from the sons for the sins of their fathers.  In fact, in verse 20, He says, “The soul who sins shall die.  The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son.  The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.”
And I think that one more thing to keep in mind is that, in the passages that seem to suggest that God punishes the sons for the guilt of the father, the greater point that is being made is not about God’s punishment but about His mercy.  He says that He is a God who shows “mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments”; and calls Himself “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin . . .”  He only speaks of the sins of the fathers being visited on the children when He asserts that—in showing mercy—He will be found to “by no means clearing the guilty”.
So then; given all that, how are we to take the passages that say that God visits the iniquity of the fathers upon the children?  For one thing, I think that—when you look at it from the other passages that speak of the guilt of fathers and its impact upon their children—it would obviously mean that He does indeed visit the same punishment of the fathers upon their children who walk in those same sinful footsteps.  I note that God says that He visits the iniquity of the fathers upon the children “to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me”.  If they too hate God, and follow in their father’s rebellious footsteps, they also will be visited upon by the punishment suffered by the father.  No one should ever think that if they do the same sinful things as their father did—and see God punish their father for it—that being a few generations away will somehow let them off the hook!  (People do that a lot today, I’m afraid.  They think that things like “sin” and “judgment” and “repentance” are words from a by-gone era; and that we’re too enlightened today to fuss about such things.  But God is the same today as He was in times past—and the consequences for sinful actions are the same too.)
Another things we should note is that, in the passages above, the word that is used is translated “visit”—that the iniquities of the fathers are “visited” upon their children.  That can be interpreted to mean “punishment”—and that’s how the New International Version translates it.  But it doesn’t necessarily mean that.  It’s a rather vague word, which—it seems to me—is best understood as simply saying that God allows the consequence of the sins of the fathers to have an impact on their children.  That impact may mean punishment; but it may mean simply the unwanted consequence of sin.  (I often tell people that one of the great tragedies of our sins is that it affects innocent bystanders.)
In the light of that, we should notice that those passages above speak of children “to the third and fourth generations”.  When you think of it, very few people get to live past the days of their great-grandchildren.  The furthest that any one person can actually bring any direct, living influence upon their offspring would be to the third or fourth generations.  It’s almost as if God was saying, “I’m going to hit you so hard, your great-grandchildren will say, ‘Ouch!'”  And so; I have taken it that the punishment that God may bring on a hard-hearted, sinful, unrepentant person can result in the sorrow and anguish of any of their children—even their innocent children—only to the third or fourth generation.  (And that, by the way, is a great mercy from God.  He visits iniquity only to the third and fourth generation; but says that He shows “mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”)
Personally, all of this reminds me of how important it is that I live a godly life; and follow the Lord Jesus Christ diligently.  I do not want to be a cause for my children, or grandchildren, or great-grandchildren, to suffer because of my sinfulness.  Instead, I want to leave them a legacy that will bless them—and that will inspire them to follow after the Lord Jesus as well.
Thanks again for a great question.