LOVING ALL THE SAME — DIFFERENTLY – 1 Timothy 5:1-2

AM Bible Study Group; June 25, 2014

1 Timothy 5:1-2

Theme: The pastor needs to exemplify a family love to all the saints—but with care according to what is appropriate for each.

(All Scripture is taken from The New King James Version, unless otherwise indicated).

Chapter 5 of 1 Timothy brings us to a new focus. So far in this New Testament letter to Pastor Timothy—a letter that teaches us what the proper conduct for the church is to be (see 1 Timothy 3:15)—we have seen how the apostle Paul has given instructions on how the pastor is to ensure evangelistic integrity (Chapter 1), worshipful order (Chapter 2), qualified leadership (Chapter 3), and doctrinal purity (Chapter 4). And now, in the fifth chapter, we find that the apostle focuses on the honorable care of the saints.
Notice that Paul urged Timothy . . .
I. DO NOT TREAT THE SAINTS ROUGHLY.
A. Paul began by telling Timothy, “Do not rebuke an older man . . .” (v. 1). The word that Paul used is presbuteros; and this is the same word that is used in verses 17-20 for the office of elder in the church. But we should notice two things:
1. The fact that the word in verse 1 is associated with other age groups in the church shows us that this is not speaking of the church office; but rather of older men who, by virtue of their age, are worthy of special respect. Older men are always to be shown respect in Scripture. In Leviticus 19:32, God commands His people, “You shall rise before the gray headed and honor the presence of an old man, and fear your God: I am the Lord.”
2. Timothy is told to—when necessary—rebuke those who occupy the church office of elder (see v. 20). In that case, the word that is used is elegchō; which means to scrutinize or examine someone carefully so as to bring a wrongdoing to light; and to then express strong public disapproval of or to discipline someone’s action when proven to be sinful. But in the case of an older man, a different word is used. Timothy is told not to epiplāssō him. This word has the primary sense of ‘striking at’; and the idea is that the pastor is never to rebuke or reprove an older man severely or harshly.
B. In the church, the older saints—particularly those who have provided wisdom and experience to others—can grow to be less delicate in their approach than they used to be. And when the pastor is a younger man, unkind things can be said to him, and old methods can be stubbornly held on to far beyond their usefulness. The pastor must never let anyone despise him for his youthfulness (4:12), but neither should he ever respond with harshness to the failings of the precious older men of the church. He must always rise before the gray head and speak with great deference It would seem that the older men are mentioned specifically because the church is so much a reflection of them (see Titus 2:1-2); but the command to Timothy would no doubt apply to older women as well—and perhaps to all in the church. The servant of God “must not quarrel but be gentle to all . . .” (2 Timothy 2:24).
II. BUT DO EXHORT THEM ALL FAITHFULLY.
A. The care that Timothy was to show in not rebuking an older man harshly didn’t mean that he was to be silent and passive toward them. When necessary, he was to “exhort” the older men. The word that is used is parakaleō; which basically means “to call to one’s side”. Here, the idea is to “urge” or “exhort” or “make a strong appeal” to some course of action or behavior. The pastor is to exhort the older man without being harsh or severe. Paul modeled this in 1 Thessalonians 5:14 when he wrote, “Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all.” In 2 Timothy 4:2, he told Timothy, “Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching.”
B. Note two things about this:
1. This is to be an ongoing work. The verb is stated in a grammatical form (the present active imperative), which identifies it as an ongoing, habitual practice. Timothy is to make sure that his approach is never characterized by harshness, but always by a gentle, ‘coming-along-side’ kind of appeal. He is to continually “exhort” from the word of God in his ministry.
2. This is also to be an all-inclusive work. He is certainly to exhort the older men; but he is to also exhort everyone else. Paul commands Timothy to “exhort him” (that is, older men); but also “younger men” and “older women” and “younger women” (vv. 1-2). He is to shepherd the whole flock of God in this way. Bringing the older men into a faithful walk is strategic because of their influence on all the rest; and perhaps this is another reason Paul urged Timothy to exhort them first.
III. AND DO SO WITH APPROPRIATE FAMILY LOVE.
The body of Christ is a family. And as is true in all families, each individual member—in each specific stage of life—needs to be treated with care and respect according to their unique place. And so, Timothy is commanded to treat each individual age group of the saints in an age-appropriate way.
A. When it comes to “an older man . . . as a father”. Fathers are to be treated with great honor in Scripture (see Ephesians 6:1-4; Colossians 3:20). If a pastor remembers that every older man is (usually) someone’s actual father, he will treat that older man with a sense of stewardship toward the older man’s children. In fact, he should treat him as if he were his own father on loan—and exhort him with great love and care and honor.
B. When it comes to “younger men”, Timothy was to exhort them “as brothers”. If a pastor treats younger men as brothers, he will never exalt himself over them. He will remember that they both have one Teacher—the Lord Jesus; and before Jesus, all believing men are “brothers” (Matthew 23:8).
C. When it comes to “older women”, Timothy was to exhort them “as mothers”. Jesus treated His own mother with the utmost love and care (see John 19:25-27); and in a sense, Paul expands something of this care in what he has to say about widows in verses 3-16. Every pastor ought to treat every precious older woman in his church as if she were his own mother—and in such a way that all of her actual children would approve of his loving care for her.
D. When it comes to “younger women”, Timothy was to exhort them “as sisters”. This means that it’s not necessary for a pastor to avoid any relationship with the younger women in his church; but it does mean that he should do so with the utmost care—as Paul says, “with all purity.” 1 Thessalonians 5:22 says, “Abstain from every form of evil”; and it means that all evil is to be avoided—not just the “form” of it. As Dr. Homer Kent Jr. has put it, “he should always behave as he would want other men to act toward his own sister, or as he would act toward his sister. This warning is most significant, for at this very point many young men on the threshold of long and fruitful service have lost their usefulness” (The Pastoral Epistles, p. 163).

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The pastor is not a mere hireling in the service of the saints. As Paul told the pastors in Acts 20:28, “take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.” He is to love the church as Jesus loves it; remembering what Paul said in Galatians 6:10; that “as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.”
The pastor is to show a deep family love toward the people of God that is specified to the needs of each group. And remember—in doing all this, he is to model how all the saints are to treat one another!